I am a single parent. I have been for more than a few years. The purpose of this blog is to help people feel peace and enjoy parenting alone. Years ago, I thought that I needed to find a partner to have a “complete” family. But through several relationships, where I tried too hard to make broken things work, I learned that I didn’t need a partner; I needed to discover my own happiness, prioritize my child’s well-being over any potential partner’s, and pursue a life’s work that was challenging and personally meaningful. This blog documents that road. I hope that what I write can help you find happiness too.
This year I moved to a new community and entered law school. Before making the decision to leave my very stable job to do so, I was very concerned about how the move would affect my child, i worried that I would be “throwing my child under the bus” to follow an unrealistic goal.
But it turns out the Lord wasn’t just guiding me to law school; he was guiding me to a better community for my child. I’m learning that God knows what we need. We don’t need to be everything. Sometimes, if we’re seeking his will, he will tug us back from a direction that, ultimately, won’t bring us happiness. But other times, he’ll say go for it; but we need time and reassurance to work through our fears and doubts.
Here, I may express some frustration with church rhetoric about the ideal family. My hope is that, by expressing such feelings in a respectful and thoughtful way, others will feel less alienated and more capable of participating in their congregations.
I’m not in class for the summer months, but in August, a new semester of law school begins. Stick around and you will see what it’s like to be a single parent in law school. But don’t read this blog if you are hungry for tips on how to ace law school as a single parent. I know of many parents who excel in law school. I’m not one of them. I’m not capable of being the parent I want to be and a great student. So this blog will also be about compromises–the costs, the blessings, and the ways I figure out how to be okay with my adequate effort at some things so I can do right by the person and things that matter most in my life.